My lists have broken, historically they helped me get organised, sorted and done, but the ‘meh’ apathy has set-in. Is it because the list is on the iPad and a mere swipe deletes them as if they were never there, whereas writing them in longhand on a note pad and crossing it out doesn’t remove it from view, just reminds you of a failure? It’s deeper than that, it’s a personality trait, accountability thing.
Sometimes success of getting stuff done is dependant upon the sense of satisfaction (personal and third-party) that comes along after the effort and struggle, it has to have a worth. Sometimes it might be because someone else is relying on what you do. Sometimes it’s something that is time sensitive. I am fortunate that I don’t have things pulling at my time, I don’t work thus reducing the free hours for chores, projects and such, but because my days have no structure it’s neither here nor there what time I get up, go to bed, today is like yesterday and will be the same tomorrow. Granted initially after ceasing work, having the comfort of so little pressure was so relaxing and reviving, and so needed after the stress and pressure of grief, work and deteriorating health, but now it has become a hindrance. Even enjoyable pastimes become things to merely fill empty hours, which takes the shine off the brightest activities.
But occasionally a spark of possibility needs seizing to try and wrangle the waining spirit, and ignite the motivation to get on and ‘do’, because it will bring satisfaction in a project successfully completed that others might just enjoy. Give a sense of purpose and instead of time filling I’m being ‘productive’.
So, September is the month, BFF’s visit is the deadline.
- Research and write the new article
- Upgrade video player (current one doesn’t handle mobile devices)
- Rework each video file/page
- Upload everything to the server and publish
- Update back-up drives 1 and 2 (I’m not loosing all that hard work)
- Possibly pick up cat blanket crochet
I know, I know, I might be over reaching with the crochet, lol, but goals be goals.
Not being able to just get stood up from the desk is a major faulting factor, I could and should spend a couple of hours most days at the desk but the thought of shuffling on the chair to get to the sofa is a chore even though when I do do it, it’s not so bad, only some degree of hip discomfort. It’s a mental tug of war. It is necessary to put myself in an outright absolute ‘have-to’ situation to give my mentals that extra decisive tug.
Right then ….. 2–6–heave!