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Turn it ….


The blonde senior moments are setting in ……. 

I have night storage heater is in my lounge and bedroom as the primary source of heating. Across the years and through numerous winters I have learnt the techniques of getting the best from this style of heater.  The other day I waddled across the lounge to adjust the settings ready for a cold blast that was due to go through.  As I went to twist the output knob it stopped solid, hmmm, it’s only on number four, I do hope nowt has siezed the works.  I am not very stable when I am on my feet so concluded that maybe it was just a deterioration in my strength and balance which meant this sometimes stiff knob wouldn’t turn. I left it to cogitate awhile. I began to wonder if maybe this 26-year-old heater had finally decided to go on strike and was I looking at trying to replace the whole unit before Christmas and the bad weather.  Oh blimey, trying to find a reputable electrician and supplier, hmmm. 

When I was at my desk comfortably seated in my super duper chair I unlocked the break and wheeled myself to take a good look at the heater knobs and be in a position to use more strength. First of all I applied my eyeballs, and then tutted to myself. There is a little black dot at the end of the bar indicating where it had been turned to, I had been looking at the wrong end, the reason it wouldn’t turn any further is because it was already at full, number 9, and not where I wanted it to be.

Knob turned, heating set, disaster averted.

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Posted by on December 13, 2018 in General, Grumble

 

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Remembrance


As per my tradition, I always watch the Royal British Legion Festival of Remembrance and the Remembrance Service at the Cenotaph.  It is important to remember and reflect the sacrifices, trials and hardships of these two most gruesome of wars.  Whilst I am humbled and thankful to all those men and women who chose and still choose our amazing armed forces as a career path, I always specifically think about the hundreds and thousands of people who were conscripted to join the war effort, those who during war time volunteered to join, ordinary people who didn’t have a tantrum of ‘it’s not fair’, who didn’t have the modern day selfish, I’m owed privilege, but with pride, patriotism and sense of duty went to defend their way of life, and our future.

As I watch ‘the old guard’ march past the Cenotaph, I remember the remembrance service I stood at in November 1994.  I cannot tell you where I was, because I was standing at the bow of STS Lord Nelson as Captain John Fisher led us.  My voyage was in its second week, so likely just off the coast of Portugal.  As we sailed the Atlantic Coast with the sun shining around the white clouds, as we crested the rolling waves, my buddy and I trying not to burst into giggles at the thought of a crashing wave washing the foredeck at the bowsprit.  Trying to keep to the tune and timing of “those in peril on the sea” hymn without any accompaniment.  Quite poignant and moving to be so isolated on the vest ocean, yet knowing such services were taking part all over the globe.

 
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Posted by on November 11, 2018 in General, In The News, Life, people

 

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Call My Boobs

I’ve had one of those ‘craft’ moments, my brain was absolutely no help, all it had to do was remember one simple thing.  Settle back and picture the scene…..

I have a distant relationship with my mobile, often it is in the draw needing to be charged to get the code to log into some secure online account or whatever. I might top it up once a year or eighteen months, you see if people need me they call my landline, email or message me via t’internet. I think I’ve just heard the whole teenage generation faint nthe surprise.

An on-going situation requires me to keep the thing handy.  I had made my coffee, shuffled back to the sofa and sat ready to tackle a to-do or two ….. where’s my phone …..

  • Is it hiding under the tv magazine …. No
  • Is it caught up with my crochet …. No
  • Did it slide off the side table …. No
  • Did it slip between the cushions …. No
  • Has it fallen into the wool bag beside the table …. No
  • Did I leave it on my desk …. No
  • Did I leave it by the bed or on the pillow …………..

As I was resigning to having to get up and go look I felt something move.

It was in my bra, it had been snuggled in there all warm for the past few hours since I’d got dressed in the morning.

 
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Posted by on October 29, 2018 in Life

 

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How Much Do You Forward Think?

Are you enjoying your lazy Sunday evening?  Are you comfy, feet up, maybe watching the GP, or reading a book, not really thinking of anything.  I’m sure there are a few readers out there chasing those last chores to be ready for the ‘paid job’ that calls on a Monday morning.  Me? I’m just strategising my logistics.

Before getting up to start dinner I had to plan, and plan in detail.  First put used dish, coffee mug and trash on the chair. Get up, off for a wee we go, whilst seated remember to roll up your sleeves (can’t do it standing up). Once in kitchen turn on grill as you pass taking dirties to the sink. Fill washing up bowl.  Move dry pots from draining board to oven top and put pork steak under the grill and set time for 5 minutes. Put pots away in the cupboard, get dinner plate out and rice packet.  Return to sink, start washing up (technical glitch, I forgot the sleeve rolling, sigh, options don’t do dishes or try and squish up sleeves keeping elbows at my side to hold them out the water). Beep beep beep, okay turn over steak, get rice pack ready to zap in microwave.  Stuff trash into bag ready to deal with tomorrow. Turn everything off, dish up, return to lounge.

Essentially, no journey is a single task, and you cannot back track or forget something, and you cannot drop anything. Get it right first time, every time.

Now I’m planning bedtime. Put cardigan on chair, get up and off for a wee, off to bed. Put cardy in laundry basket, get clean clothes out onto chair, put dirty wearings in the basket.  Hold that thought ……… I need to take the phone with me to put on the bedroom charger ……. put phone under cardigan otherwise it will slide off.  Contingency plan, if I cannot get up off the loo, leave phone in the bathroom, put cardy on back of chair (I sit on the chair and shuffle through to the bed).  Okay that should work.

In bed I’ll strategise tomorrow. Up, off to the bathroom, dressed and etc, return to the bedroom. Fold laundry put on chair (unfolded tends to slide off and I cannot pick anything up off the floor) make way to kitchen and load the washing machine and start, put dry bath towel on chair, put away last nights washing up and return to bedroom.  Fold towel and leave on chest of draws to take to bathroom next morning (haven’t the strength/balance to do it as its own job).  I have to sit and rest because I’ve not got the energy for the next bit as well. 

Right then, up, to the kitchen, make coffee and brunch/lunch sandwich, take out dinner from the freezer.  Waddle through to the desk, get seated.  Wheel to sofa and grab purse and note pad, check work list …… Hold on, hold on, I forgot something, I’m taking the phone through tonight, so must remember to put phone on chair before getting up and making lunch.

This is nothing special, this is everyday.  I’m constantly going over the next set of logistics, adding and amending, adjusting and revising.

And some people have problems solving the old fox-chicken-corn across the river riddle.

 
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Posted by on September 16, 2018 in General, Grumble, Life

 

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Over Scorchio

Sorry it’s been a while since posting but, well, no excuses, just rather flagging.

How’s the summer been treating you? I’m a one for the heat, used to love driving the highways and byways, singing out loud, window down, just basking in the brightness of the days, feeling the sun kiss my pale skin. But you see I’ve become a ‘woman of a certain age’ and hormones have come into play.  

It’s been a very long time since we have had a summer like it, some seven to eight weeks without rain, only a couple of overcast days, others have afternoons and evenings of uninterrupted strong sunshine. Temperatures regularly hitting and staying in the high eighties.

Now for those unfamiliar, I have a serious lordosis. My spinal curve is more < than (. To stop painful discomfort I wear a support. Imagine double thickness granny girdle elastic, along with a foam pad covered in a suedette type material, tight against the skin from waking to falling back into bed. All too frequently I have trickles of moisture running down to my ordinary unpretty undies, I am constantly wet. I feel like I am cooking my kidneys wearing what feels like a heating pad.  It’s a dreadful sensation of a morning putting the dank cold pad back on, until the heat warms it up and cooks me for the rest of the day.  

Use a fan, I hear you cry, well that brings a new issue, cool drafty air movement does things to me, how to put it delicately, it accelerates my digestive transit, quicker than I can transit my delicate self to the loo!  Off to ASDA tomorrow, the coldest store in town, that might be fun, hope it doesn’t freeze my damp back pad. 

It truly pains me to say it – but I am so over the hot summer. Still kids break up from school next week, cue the rain!

 
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Posted by on July 22, 2018 in Life

 

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15 seconds of …..


Oh I say! One’s been interviewed!! A proper pukka author type lady who read my blog approached me and asked if she could feature me as a guest because apparently I’m interesting.  It’s been a week for it, another online bud referred to me as awesome and extraordinary.

I’ve been on tv (well a tv audience twice now), I’ve been in the press (local press, a couple of times), I’ve been interviewed on the radio (only local radio onboard a tallship) and now I’m a blog topic. I think I’m eking out my fifteen minutes in 15 second spurts.  Too much of me all at once surely cannot be a good thing.

Do we ever really consider how others perceive us? I know I don’t. My perception of myself is that I’m nowt to talk about, I’m muddling through, one step infront of the other, not achieving much. I’ve found myself in odd situations, with interesting people, but am I interesting … not to my myopic eyes.

You can read the result at … Pauline Barclay’s Blog

Fear not faithful readers, I shall not let this go to my head, I’ll still make time for you lovely minions, if you’ll just contact my social PA I’m sure I can squeeze you in between my daily hot stone massage with oils and lunch at The Ivy.

 
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Posted by on June 26, 2018 in Life

 

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30 Seconds or 30 Minutes, it’s timeless


Could you, dear reader, try and do something for me.  You see no matter how strong the desire, how consuming the craving, I am physically, totally, completely unable to do it, and that denial of free choice chips and nibbles at the strongest resolve and will to ‘make the best of it’.

So, on this glorious June afternoon, take a step outside, sit on your patio chair or door step, or stand barefoot in the grass; take a deep breath, observe what’s around you (don’t just see it), feel the sun, the breeze, the air on your face, listen to the natural sounds about you (don’t just hear them), and take another breath, slowly in and slowly out.  Don’t think, don’t fret, don’t stress, just be present in yourself, in that moment.

It doesn’t take much time, it can be the time it takes a kettle to boil or the microwave to ping, or child one to clump child two and start screaming, lol. But man oh man, that briefest moment of calm can do so much good to the mental health if, as busy humans, we do this regularly.

It’s truly a gorgeous day today, one I’d love to sit outside and read my book, have a (albeit one sided) conversation with a passing cat or chirping black bird, cogitate my thoughts or feel the day fresh against my exposed skin, even just to put my bare feet in the grass.  But for many that’s the stuff dreams are made of. 

I’d open the window as wide as it will go but, hmm, ‘things’ of a buzzy, bitey, stingy nature will be too tempted by my tastiness, and Signor Four-Paws might be happy to come in that way but will want out via the front door. Not to mention opening/closing the window is fast becoming a ‘can’t do that’ task. It’s not the same and being completely the same as full enveloped by outsideness. 

My limitations are feeling quite pointed today, it will pass.

I’ll attack my hard toe nail with the clippers instead…..

 
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Posted by on June 10, 2018 in General, Grumble, Life

 

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