
I was reminded today about incidents where you have to physically stop your sarcasm and sassy-ness coming out of your mouth.
Many life times ago I worked as a Secretary/Admin/Accounts/Cashier type person at a tourist attraction set in a country park on a Baronial estate, somewhere that had hundreds of years of history and secrecy. The thing about Joe Public on his holibobs is you have to be in semi-holiday mode too, rather than stressed, over tired, is it home time yet mode. Despite the attention given to signage, literature and such, you are constantly asked what sound like obvious questions. Often the question asked isn’t really using the correct words to get the correct answer. For example “can I go out?” what the person is really asking is “If I go out to my car, will you let me back in again without repaying?”
Over time, after the hundredth ask, brain goes into sarcasm mode and you find yourself glazing over as the answer you really really shouldn’t say out loud comes to the forefront. Here are a few common questions and the wrong tired answers…..
Do we have to pay? No, I work for free and the animals don't eat.
is this where we come in? No, it's my front room and you're disturbing my siesta.
What's here? (There's a 20 foot information board beside them) ohh nothing, absolutely nothing.
Do I park there? (Point to carpark) No, you go up to the main road, turn east, go 7 miles, park and get on a bus.
If we come in and we go out? Please do, I want to go home at 6.
Is that the lake? No, that's an illusion, you get a train, turn round three times, recite a mantra and come back tomorrow.
Are you open? (Usually this is a bank holiday Monday) Noooo, we've buggered off to Antigua for the day.
There was only ever one question that stopped us in our tracks and made us go “Huh?” That was – How heavy are your heavy horses? – very, they were big burly Shires and Suffolks, did the person think we were running a horse fat camp.