Hmm, now let me see ….. grab your magnifying glass and come detect with me ……
Within my abode just about a week ago there were a tube of Pringles, a Nestlè selection box, a sizeable bag of mixed nut selection, a bag of mint aero bubbles and a bottle of grape drink. Whilst I will admit I did pop a Pringle while watching a film, and I might have nibbled a choc during a game show and I know I lightly sipped a tipple during a festive special … but … the festive basket has been plundered to just the fruit pastilles and bingo cookies (more later) and if the thieving rat has been at my cheese selection saved for this afternoon I will have his tail!!
Surely, not I, the lone resident, renowned non-nibbler couldn’t have…. well … indulged frequently, absentmindedly, sort of occasionally gourmandised (don’t you just love a thesaurus) all of those goodies?
If I suddenly go missing this year, tell the authorities to check out the Bingo Mafia, I’ve been branded a hustler and they don’t like it 😂. You see, yesterday afternoon I was enticed to join my fellow ressies for drinks, sausage rolls and mince pies and as I had stealthy avoided the Christmas hoorah I went.
Wheeled into the dining room, where a dozen or more were congregating, a silver sequinned trilby plonked upon my head, I was braked in front of a bingo card – ominous. Then raffle tickets were plied and purchased – more ominoisnessness….. Have I been conned and fleeced!!! Eyes down, silence descends, the air tenses, first to four corners. Hopeless. Onto full house, no where near. Next round, first to a line, number after number, getting nearer and I won! Some Belgian chocolate cookies. Onto a full house, nearly, nearly, just two more, and ‘Bingo’! A bag of chocolate caramels. Third and final round, four corners, I came close but my neighbour got there first. The final full house, each number called, legs eleven, knock at the door, two round ladies, two little ducks, clickerty click and Brighton line (I realise that may be a confusing language to some), oh no, my neck starts to heat up, oh no no, palms get sweaty, oh nooooo……. trombones…… ‘Bingo’! I cried as the table behind sighed and mumbled. Oopsy, I told you they take their gambling seriously, I could feel the daggered stares from the crew. Six games and this first timer won three 😳.
Onto the raffle, we’d each bought two strips of five tickets, so ten chances of my numbers coming up out of about a possible 120. First number, phew not me…. second number, phew not me…. third number 419, oh crap that’s me, a bottle of Merlot. We adjourned to the lounge for a tipple and a nibble. Alexa was instructed to play some party tunes and loud chatter and merriment ensued, interspersed with some dubious singing. Back in time for a late supper.
As for 2023, well, let’s see, there’s the debacle of OT and their failings, so I’m giving in and buying my own bespoke item, so I know it’s right. I should have done it sooner, knew I’d end up doing so and only my own stubborn procrastination has prevented me from doing so, six months on and something needed three/four times a day is still not fit for purpose. The system of OT isn’t just broken, it is decimated and like most systems, it is those in need most, who will suffer most.
There’s more paperwork to chase. You see I pay for my care, the care company tells the County Council, who then send me the bill, except I haven’t had any bills. I’ve asked the complex manager to chase, to no avail, I’ve asked the County Council to check and they’ve the correct address but no order to bill, I’ve asked the care company who are confused why it hadn’t already been done. See again, business can delay and confuse and wait but you can get those buggers will want the dosh the next day, well, tough, I’ve done my due diligence, they’ll get it in stages, I’m not loosing six months of Tesco vouchers because of their laziness. (Did I mention I can be stubborn).
The pipe dream for 2023 is to get to appointments, maybe successfully mobile, but I’m having to deal with ‘systems’ that are clogged and bureaucratic, they make a garden snail look like Speedy Gonzales!
So as the Latin quote states “same crap, different year”…. cheers, slange var, Iechyd da 🥂