It’s the last day of August, I am sure just last week or maybe the week before I was compiling my previous blog post. It absolutely cannot be two months ago since strolling the Cutty deck! Eek, I have utterly stalled but time has found that sixth gear and gone for it.
I try and be honest here, so I will review my to-do list……
- Complete two more blankets – project postponed by secret commission, equally on a go-slow.
- Unravel troll hat hair – I’ve done ‘some’ but no, it’s not done.
- Declutter & sort all three desk draws – not even thought to.
- Source office chair suppliers, arrange in-home test – emailed one, no reply, ignored the issue.
- Buy new microwave – not done.
- Source new fridge – not done.
Not exactly what one might call successful! I’m not exactly sure how to re-ignite my energy and enthusiasm. There are other jobs on other lists that equally remain languid. Most days my accomplishments are merely getting up, dressed, making food and that’s it. I’ve not been reading as much as in the past. My muscles and energy strengths are deteriorating, after dealing with the daily necessaries there is little in the reserve tank to channel into other joys. Not how I want to be, it’s not giving a sense of contentment or achievement, nothing to give my days meaning and worth for myself (others will say otherwise). I is not a happy bunny, it crosses my mind that social media might be affecting me, seeing the achievements, triumphs, happiness of others etc but I know it’s a false look at life.
In three weeks my BFF is coming to
play stay, there are jobs for me to do while she’s here, for her to do for me and to be done by others while she is here. There will be chaos with laughter and some achievements, will this kickstart a renewed purpose……….no. Lol.
I am reaching the point where I no longer have my answers, and I don’t know where to go to find someone with answers, or even if there are answers. Not how I am used to being, nor how I want to be.
I’ll try and make my next blog a bit more up and light and sooner rather than later.