Shouting At Burglars

16 Jan

During the course of conversation I recalled an anecdote which had my carer laughing. Hopefully it will bring a chuckle to your chops too.

When I was about thirteen or fourteen there was an incident. When I lived with my parents we were in a very rural village, lots of woodland and open marshland. In the early hours of a morning my Dad was woken by a sound, thud-thud-thud, reasonably rhythmic in nature. He asked my mum who sleepily thought it was the pile drivers across the marshes, but not that early in the day, unsettled he got up to investigate. I had a pet rabbit Rv who as soon as he heard people movement would thump his back legs against the back of his hutch wanting out into the enclosed courtyard. Rv’s hutch was against the wall of the garage, beside the window of the workshop area and opposite the kitchen window and door, Dad thought it was Rv getting his Thumper action on. So he unlocked the kitchen door and shouted across the courtyard to Rv “Shut up, you noisy bugger!” As he crossed the hallway he noticed that the garage side door was ajar, which was extremely unusual, it was then a penny dropped. Dad went back upstairs to get dressed and when he went to the garage there every yard or so was a hessian sack each with the contents of our big chest freezer, the rhythmic thud being the closing of the heavy freezer lid (it didn’t stay up). As shocking and upsetting as the event was at the time, we couldn’t help but wonder what said burglar thought was going on when he heard a deep voice declaring “Shut up, you noisy bugger!”.

Fast forward about seven years, I was home alone, Mum and Dad were away visiting old friends. At the same time the flat roof of the garage was being replaced. By the end of day one the roof had been stripped back to its rafters and the new boards just laid on top. As I was about to get ready for bed I opened the front door to call the cat in “Kevin! Kee-viiin, move your backside“, as I stopped to see if the ginger and white blob was approaching I heard distinct foot steps on wood echo through the garage. Yikes!! I locked myself in and immediately rang the police. The culprit was caught trying to break in elsewhere. Yet again I can only imagine the shock the fellow must have felt as all of a sudden someone is bellowing a name, telling him to move his backside.

Hee hee…


Posted by on January 16, 2021 in Life, people, Pets


Tags: , , , , , ,

10 responses to “Shouting At Burglars

  1. menhir1

    January 16, 2021 at 5:36 pm

    You had my chops curled upwards. What a giggle. 🙂

    Not the sort of regular occurrences anyone wants. An invasion of one’s own space is always unnerving. I am glad to know the ‘ginger backside’ was caught. Xxxxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • AnneMarie

      January 16, 2021 at 5:46 pm

      Imagine having to recount what I’d shouted to the charming police men who came to my door. Kevin the Cat just sat there looking all innocent!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. menhir1

    January 16, 2021 at 5:55 pm

    Kevin must have been a suspect in the eyes of the law. Very innocent-looking is very suspicious indeed! But yes, I should think the police heard a very santised version from you. Then out of hearing and out of sight, they probably had a good laugh, too.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. menhir1

    January 16, 2021 at 5:59 pm

    P.S i should add, they will have heard a lot worse than your refined calls that don’t amuse them. So, all-in-all, you provided a lighter interlude in their working shift. Great stuff. X

    Liked by 1 person

    • AnneMarie

      January 16, 2021 at 6:01 pm

      It was refreshing to hear her chuckle, we’ve all had enough of the current situ and the light relief was welcome.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. menhir1

    January 16, 2021 at 8:03 pm

    Kevin’s statement must be a record

    Liked by 1 person

  5. daryan12

    January 16, 2021 at 11:06 pm

    In Ireland you’d just say to a burglar “I know your mother” and they’ll bolt

    Liked by 1 person

  6. snowbird

    January 18, 2021 at 8:07 pm

    Hahaha, brilliant. You had me laughing out

    Liked by 1 person

    • AnneMarie

      January 18, 2021 at 8:57 pm

      When harking into darkness you never know what ears hears 🤣



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