Death and his paperwork

24 Jan

Alright, so you’ve made your will, had the conversation about whether to be cremated, buried, frozen, shot into space or stuffed and mounted, you think you’re done, prepared, sorted – you are so very very wrong.

The bureaucracy following the death of BigSis highlighted how things have changed since the death of our parents. As things move more online, there are many changes and additional consequences to systems, procedures and ownerships. Back in the days of pen and paper, even slate and chalk, a bank would use common sense when trying to access or move funds and things could happen within a couple of days, nowadays accounts are frozen, details need to be verified, confirmed and copied for the deceased, as well as the recipient. Don’t expect it to happen in anything less than two to three weeks.

It’s time for me to get my affairs in order, make sure that access and answers are at hand. My brain is racing away, with detached sentimentality, desperate to go through cupboards, draws and boxes to get rid of all my accumulated bits and bobs, to get stuff sold via the relevant specialist, online sites or charity shops, there are even pangs of guilt about the items destined for the trash, those items that are unsellable, unrecyclable, just junk. But the body has neither the strength or mobility to do it.

The old noggin is even wondering whether it is possible to bequest my Amazon purchases, like you can physical purchases. If your partner is the named Amazon account, when they depart, so will the access to everything they have digitally bought/subscribe. Accessing their account is technically fraudulent, even if you know the details and have permission, after they’ve died. More and more our utility bills, credit cards and banking is done online, and unless details are written down and kept somewhere safe, your executor will have zero clue where to find your funds, the same with utility bills and income sources. So much was more straightforward when you had a statement or bill through the post to act as reference, with its account numbers and names all there.

Fortunately I don’t drive, again online access means that now once a driving license is cancelled, so is the road tax and ownership papers attached to that persons details, so if you share a car with your partner, that’ll be an urgent call to the DVLA needed.

As a super single there will be bills and the need for funds before probate and such is all sorted, so I am considering opening a separate account with another named party so access to urgent funds can be managed.

Maybe it is morbid but it is a necessary conversation. After all, your nearest and dearest deserve to have things run as smooth as possible, rather than add to the stress and distress.


Posted by on January 24, 2020 in Life, Uncategorized


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14 responses to “Death and his paperwork

  1. snowbird

    January 24, 2020 at 9:22 pm

    This is such a wake-up call! Yes, things are far more complicated these

    Liked by 1 person

    • AnneMarie

      January 24, 2020 at 9:29 pm

      It was astounding, one company is happy to just have things phoned in and for me to pay off the balance, while another wanted birth and parentage,copies of everything in triplicate just to close an online account for something that didn’t involve monies or anything like that! Amazon was hell to shut down.

      Utility companies were okay because everything was in one name, just the email correspondence and mobile numbers were hers, it was easy to switch them.


  2. deacongill

    January 25, 2020 at 2:53 pm

    A sad thing to be doing, but inevitable: I found with my parents’ death that it made me feel like you – let me get myself sorted, so it’s not such a mare’s nest for the nearest and dearest. Good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. menhir1

    January 25, 2020 at 6:10 pm

    Hiya, this is a thoughtful and well written post. We shared some ideas on will-making and tidying up personal effects a while back. Since then I refreshed my will, so the conversation had some effect.

    When someone close to you dies and you are involved in the admin and the sorting, it does bring home to you just how much there is to do, how much is expected of you and when you are emotionally vulnerable too. I got on with a tidy-up, not that there’s any sign of it now! I have though, got a system for those awkward things like passwords and I keep it up. It is a never-ending requirement.

    These are conversations to be had and included in will design too. Things got toughened up with banks and suchlike because there was so much theft and fraud. We were put through the unpleasant mill once with one institution which had had a massive amount of it. I did ask my cloud provider what happens when I die. Unless there’s a way of keeping up the payment, it dies wih me.

    It’s not easy deciding what bits of yourself can be shared out, passed on or binned. As Gilly says, it is a sad task for us. I am the keeper of two lives in a box each. They raise a lot of questions for the future.

    xxxxx hugs

    Liked by 2 people

    • AnneMarie

      January 25, 2020 at 6:15 pm

      When you think about all that is involved when you move house, well it is that and more after a death. So much is done on blind faith with the cyber world and as we get more and more involved online, it will get harder.

      I do wish I had Mary Poppins’ spit spot, nose twinkle, finger click, tools at my disposal, it would make life a bit easier.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. menhir1

    January 25, 2020 at 6:16 pm

    So where is Mary Poppins when you need her?

    Liked by 1 person

    • AnneMarie

      January 25, 2020 at 6:18 pm

      Off jumping through pavement pictures with that chimney sweep chappy or having afternoon tea with dubious laughing fellows 🙄

      Liked by 2 people

  5. menhir1

    January 25, 2020 at 9:03 pm

    I thought she might be stuck on top of St Paul’s with the gargoyles. But then, that darn umbrella of hers would give her the edge. I wonder if ‘hand bagging’ her way out of trouble would be more efficient.

    Liked by 1 person

    • AnneMarie

      January 25, 2020 at 9:08 pm

      I wonder if she’s been chatting with Nanny McPhee, you know, she’s all “When you don’t want me but need me I’ll stay, but when you want me but don’t need me, I’ll go”


  6. menhir1

    January 25, 2020 at 9:30 pm

    That’s where the two cribbed off each other…nothing’s sacred or new when it comes to nannies, is it. X

    Liked by 1 person

  7. menhir1

    January 25, 2020 at 10:42 pm

    That extraordinary tooth from Nannie M does create some audio gymnastics. Whereas nannie ‘spit spot’ has a sharp steely audio precision.

    Liked by 1 person

    • AnneMarie

      January 25, 2020 at 10:45 pm

      Let us not forget the ninja nanny from Disney’s Robin Hood (live that goose, lol) and the one who tamed Peter Ustinov in One Of Our Dinosaurs Is Missing …… I know way too many Nanny movies, lol.


  8. menhir1

    January 26, 2020 at 1:56 pm

    I might not forget all those extra nannies ifI knew them, but then again… I might 😔


    Liked by 1 person


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