It’s not going all too well

31 Aug

It’s the last day of August, I am sure just last week or maybe the week before I was compiling my previous blog post. It absolutely cannot be two months ago since strolling the Cutty deck!  Eek, I have utterly stalled but time has found that sixth gear and gone for it.

I try and be honest here, so I will review my to-do list……

  • Complete two more blankets – project postponed by secret commission, equally on a go-slow.
  • Unravel troll hat hair – I’ve done ‘some’ but no, it’s not done.
  • Declutter & sort all three desk draws – not even thought to.
  • Source office chair suppliers, arrange in-home test – emailed one, no reply, ignored the issue.
  • Buy new microwave – not done.
  • Source new fridge – not done.

Not exactly what one might call successful!  I’m not exactly sure how to re-ignite my energy and enthusiasm. There are other jobs on other lists that equally remain languid.  Most days my accomplishments are merely getting up, dressed, making food and that’s it.  I’ve not been reading as much as in the past.  My muscles and energy strengths are deteriorating, after dealing with the daily necessaries there is little in the reserve tank to channel into other joys.  Not how I want to be, it’s not giving a sense of contentment or achievement, nothing to give my days meaning and worth for myself (others will say otherwise). I is not a happy bunny, it crosses my mind that social media might be affecting me, seeing the achievements, triumphs, happiness of others etc but I know it’s a false look at life. 
In three weeks my BFF is coming to play stay, there are jobs for me to do while she’s here, for her to do for me and to be done by others while she is here. There will be chaos with laughter and some achievements, will this kickstart a renewed purpose……….no. Lol.

I am reaching the point where I no longer have my answers, and I don’t know where to go to find someone with answers, or even if there are answers.  Not how I am used to being, nor how I want to be.

I’ll try and make my next blog a bit more up and light and sooner rather than later.


Posted by on August 31, 2017 in General, Life, Projects


Tags: , , ,

7 responses to “It’s not going all too well

  1. menhir1

    August 31, 2017 at 8:25 pm

    It does sound as if you you are going through a stage or phase, which you are developing an understanding of, or, should that be an understanding with.

    I couldn’t agree with you more about all those media demonstrations of achievement. Wonderful though they are, they aren’t the real world for a great many people, be they able-bodied or disabled. Exhorting all of us to use them as role models too, is ridiculous. Let’s get real I say, in fact, that’s what we are both saying.


    Liked by 2 people

    • AnneMarie

      August 31, 2017 at 8:30 pm

      I have found myself thinking “If I had it as easy as you, I’d be doing that”, it might be at a photo of a trip or a status of achievement on social media and I know it has been a struggle for that person šŸ˜¦


  2. Bushka

    August 31, 2017 at 9:10 pm

    Hugs! Every little counts…even if it does not compare with what…and ho much as done previously……Hugs!šŸ¤—šŸ¤—šŸ¤—šŸ’•

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Me

    September 1, 2017 at 4:16 am

    Interesting post. I haven’t met very many people of great achievement who have had life easy, or for whom their personal achievement was a piece of cake. Very few success stories are the result of first attempts. Most of the time the achiever has tried and failed miserably a multitude of times and success only finally came because despite falling on their faces numerous times, they doggedly tried again and again and again and again. They kept trying long after their contemporaries threw in the towel.

    So when I read about other people’s achievements I don’t begrudge them their hard earned glory/success. Other people’s success usually inspires me to do my personal best, even if there’s no way I could ever accomplish what they have. If I never heard or read about anyone else’s success I might never try anything. I guess I just look at things a bit differently.

    I’m sorry you are feeling so low. šŸ™ I wish there was something I could do to help but apparently there’s not. And I’m sad to see that my visit won’t be any help…

    Liked by 1 person

  4. deacongill

    September 1, 2017 at 6:10 pm

    I wish I could think of something sensible to say, but I can’t, except that I care about how you feel, and I appreciate your honesty, and if you were just down the road I’d pop in for a hug. xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • AnneMarie

      September 1, 2017 at 6:20 pm

      Thank you …. I’m usually confident, focused and organised, I’m so not at present and it is beginning to feel usual, and that is not me (at least I didn’t think so). With uphill battles there are times when the only action is slide until you hopefully find something to grab *sigh*


      • deacongill

        September 4, 2017 at 8:01 pm

        Here’s a branch … and a hug. Only don’t let go of the branch.

        Liked by 1 person


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