When a General Election comes around the masses of Joe Public are forced to consider where to place their all-powerful X. It is often a difficult process, so much to consider, the pros and cons of taxation, health, education, defence, immigration, economics, etc, all these complicated intertwined aspects that want to affect the change in our pockets.
This time, however, our wonderous helpful press have whittled through it all and found a way to help us weary voters decide. The kitchen, the hub of the home and now the heart of government. So the kitchens will decide who I shall vote for.
Farrage is out, I doubt he even knows where the kitchen is unless his has a beer fridge.
the Green Party, are kitchen within their green ways?
Clegg is out, he always seems to be in some one else’s kitchen.
Milliband is out, well who can trust someone who slurps his morning tea from a bland striped mug!
Cameron … Hmm … We’ve been treated to two and in both I’ve seen a foot stuff that is the same brand as something I like. We share the same affection for mayonnaise … That’s where I will confidently strike my cross.
Of course folks, this whole post is pure annoyed sarcasm. Our media has turned everything into such celebutard mockery, all desperately trying to engraciate themselves to everyone, offend no-one, commit to nothing and covert affection rather than explain and sell hard truths.