It has been a strange few days.
At the weekend it was the twenty fifth anniversary of my Mother-in-law [to be]’s murder at the hand of her husband. Chaos, turmoil and much emotion across that christmas and new year, many relationships strained to breaking point, as indeed mine was with my fiancé. She was a lovely, giving lady and did not deserve what happened and has missed out on so much because of it.
Sunday my Big Sis got a telephone call from a cousin, she knew instantly she heard his voice the reason for the call. Our Uncle [callers father] had died. What we were not prepared for was the next bit ….. in July ….. FIVE FARKIN MONTHS AGO!!! When Big Sis gave me the news I was fuming, livid and ready to be done with all of them. I regularly write to my Aunts and Cousins and over the past thirty three years have resigned to never getting a reply, but this is not the first time we have been forgotten, it took three years for someone to mention to us that another uncle had passed [we were still sending cards and writing letters], at least three other family members have passed that we did not hear about until months after. It has upset me in an agitated, aggrieved, annoyed and downright angry way.
Yesterday was the funeral of my Dad’s best mate. It does not feel right to say it was enjoyable but, it was, there was mirth and laughter as we shared stories, catching up with faces not seen in many, many, many years [why it is my face they remember, because I don’t remember them! Name badges should be obligatory at these things]. It was a noon ‘do’ and before a chance for a second coffee the sunlight was dimming and christmas lights were lighting. I’ll always recall Bob, his face a glint with glee as he sound effected his way through an engine issue that gave the inanimate object such character and personality.
So, there we are, the dreaded time is drawing near, freezer logistics [cross between tetras and jenga], grocery lists, sticky tape battles and frantic posting of last minute card because someone you posted to has changed address – oh the joys!!