Sweet Addictive Treat

15 Jul

Now I have been called many many things, and I’d fit into a dozen or so descriptive pigeon holes buts a sweet treat might be the more unusual one.  For it is the season of the blood suckers to find that warm spot where the blood flows and hook on in, not just the once nor  twice but the thrice, then send a 5* review on the insect internet and before you now it I am the number one eatery where every bug must be seen..

I am being bitten.

A lot.

Happens every year, and in all the usual places, neck, wrists, back of knees, lower legs, ankle and tops of my feet, sometimes in my hair and quite often along the ladies knicker line [cheeky].  The itching drives me insane.  I have tried numerous home remedies and several over the counter supplies and while the itching might subside for all of a moment or two they will then get together and start again and the brain is screaming for me to grab a hair brush, tooth brush, nail brush and scrub until I am red raw and bleeding.

They follow the pattern, a particular style of itch … you wipe your hand across to feel for something, it subsides and then itches again, you wipe with a cool cloth no sign of anything but the itch.  A few hours later, you’ve been good and only rubbed or dabbed not scratched and a red whelp begins to rise – ahhh gooooood.  Well it depends which way of the two it goes, if the bump decides to top it self off with a clear blister, that is excellent and blister will burst, ooze will ooze, itching will subside.  But if there is no blister the cycle of itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch will last for days and I have been guilty on occasion of digging my nail into the area so deep as to draw blood, then the itching subsides.

Now we have had a couple of real heavy thunderclap down pours there will be more and more of the buggers about to wait for that muggy night when deep in my slumber they come to par-rty.

I’m itching.

Many moons ago when I was bitten by something that brought up a blister the size of a 10 pence piece, I went to the Dermatologist who almost dance and clapped at the sight of it and declared that I am prone to an allergic reaction to the histamine.


Pass the loofa.

Could you just ….. left a bit .. down a bit …. right a bit … ooooohhhhhhhaaaaahhhhhhyesssjustthererererereer


Posted by on July 15, 2014 in Uncategorized



6 responses to “Sweet Addictive Treat

  1. gillyk

    July 15, 2014 at 1:11 pm

    Ouch, ouch, serious ouch – that sounds utterly miserable! Why not get a mozzie net hung over your bed? You can get ones which are used in camping and claim to be really quick and easy to put up – I guess you will need to pressgang a willing friend to do it for you the first time and then it can stay up all summer! Here are some links:

    The Mountain Warehouse ones are pre-treated with insect repellent – HA!


    • amgroves

      July 17, 2014 at 11:57 am

      I can be bitten at any time of the day. I think one or two of my latest nibbles might be cat flea bites :/ I’d need a bee keepers suits, lol, or a hazmet suit to keep everything utterly covered, but with my luck one bugger would sneak in, lol.


  2. deleted user

    July 15, 2014 at 1:19 pm

    Well, Flower…I can’t help much with the scratching, though of course, I would if I could…nor indeed, the itching, but.

    I can tell you how to stop the little buggers from biting in the first place.

    It’s called Pyramid Repel 55. it’s a travellers insect repellent…and it’s brilliant.

    There is also a way you can have a bit of fun with the venom-loaded little twerps…get yourself a zap-bat.

    Looks like a small tennis racquet but the strings are metal and they are electrically charged from a battery in the handle…take a swing at a flying nibbler and hear him crackle as he gets zapped.

    Takes the pain away a bit.


    • amgroves

      July 17, 2014 at 12:02 pm

      Ohhhhh the list of things I have tried …. insect repellants don’t repel they just find the bit the repel isn’t at and eat there, and those places [like between toes, hip creases, eye lids, ear lobes, between the boobage you cannot get to demurely]. I have tried room repellants citronella, lemon grass etc, I have dosed myself, I have used lavender and lemon juice, I have eaten garlic [apparently I taste even better when seasoned], nowt seems to keep the buggers at bay.

      I have the bug zapper which is great for some of the flying b’stards except they fly between me and it and one day I will zap myself, lol.


      • deleted user

        July 17, 2014 at 2:22 pm

        In that case, there is only one thing left for you to do.

        Take a large piece of white paper (A4 is fine) some stiffener (cardboard, plastic etc.) two lengths of nylon cord, some good quality sellotape and a stout marker pen.

        Align the A4 white paper carefully onto the stiffener – which has previously been cut to size – and, using the sellotape, secure the first to the second.

        Now, using a sharp, pointed instrument – and taking care not to injure yourself – make two holes, one in each top corner, 1 inch down and 1 inch in, thread the nylon cord through these holes and knot tightly.

        Now take the stout marker pen in one hand and, holding the stiffened paper with the other, carefully – and in a determined manner – write these words:


        NOW …….OFF. ( you may insert a word of your choice in the blank space)

        Tie the notice in a prominent position.

        I know what you’re thinking…it won’t stop them, they are to ignorant to obey a such a sign…and you may be right but the trick is, while they are crawling about reading all the long words on the sign, they will be relatively motionless and you will have an opportunity to swat them with what ever comes to hand.

        If that fails…drink a lot of spirit so that, when they bite you they instantly fall into a drunken stupor and you can stamp on them.

        Neither of the above systems comes with any form of written guarantee.


      • amgroves

        July 18, 2014 at 1:18 pm

        LOLOL – I like that idea. I did say to a spider once, “Walls/ceilings, yours …. floors, worktops, table tops, seats, bed, mine” took no notice of course so I squirted him/her with Febreeze. Could have sworn I heard laughter.



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