Digestive Conspiracy

22 May

My stomach does it to me every time!

I like many others have cravings from time to time.  It is rare but I can crave chocolate but after one or two small squares from a bar I am done and likely to not return to it for months after the best before date.  Crossing the local towns market which is famous for its chips I would just about kill for two chunky vinegar dipped chips but would not want even the small child cone size all to myself.

The supermarkets have had offers on crisps, so instead of one six pack of one flavour there have been three assorted flavour multi packs, and then the dreaded pound stores teased me with the cheeseybites and wotsits and quavers at the cheaper-than-Tesco prices so a couple went into the basket. Needless to say the varieties of flavours available could out do most corner stores.  They would last for months.  Yes, well, no, well, hmph.  T’other day I waddled my way through to the kitchen ready to make my sandwich [pork tongue] and tummy suggested a packet of crisps to accompany, I agreed that it would make a nice addition.  Pondering choices as I slid the marg over the bread tummy said “Cheese and Onion, yes, that sounds very tasty, lets have cheese and onion” … I agreed, be a nice change and tasty.  I checked the bag of bags …. guess what …  have just about every flavour other than C&O!!  A sulky salt and vinegar was consumed instead.

When I sit and do my shopping online I ponder a treat for the weekend, it maybe a punet of raspberries or a yoghurt, maybe a nut assortment or chocolate digestive, but I don’t always go ahead and buy buy buy.  At the weekend tummy chimed up “Hmm, pork pie, I remember you looking at the pork pies, they sound tasty”  I rolled over and ignored it, but my stomach cannot be ignored [its rumblings ave been nicknamed substitute foghorn].  I must admit the idea of pork pie, some HP to dunk, a little salad did sound very tasty indeed.  Relenting an early lunch was agreed upon and through to the kitchen I go.  Emptying the shelves of the fridge revealed no pork pies, I must have ignored myself, again.

Cheese is not something I have regularly but as my treat I purchased a bag of grated four cheeses, thinking it would go lovely in a sandwich, atop beans or bolognese.  Tummy listened into my brains conversation and suggested Baked potatoes we have not had one of those in months and it will make a pleasant change from rice or pasta.  Hmmm, good suggestion, just think melted butter, melted cheese on a creamy potato.  Dinner was sorted.  As the potato was cooking and the topping sourced from the fridge I spied the spring onions and thought, oww yes.  The onion sliced thinly, the four cheese, some grated black pepper, the butter were added to the baked potato that was then bunged back into the microwave for 30 seconds to start the melt and oh it smelt so good!  It was and it wasn’t, I enjoyed the cheese with the hint of onion and pepper, the warm gooeyness but my the third bite of potato tummy was bored with it, expectation not met.  Me and potatoes are not compatible it would seem.

It is a conspiracy I tell you, stomach is getting too big for its boots and will be put on strict rations!


Posted by on May 22, 2014 in Uncategorized



2 responses to “Digestive Conspiracy

  1. Bushka

    May 22, 2014 at 4:00 pm

    Mmmmm….I just loved reading this post. Could imagine ‘Tum-Tum’ operating clandestinely…like some sort of CIA/MI5/MI6/KGB…..It does have this tendency to behave like Screwtape….;) Hugs! xxx


    • amgroves

      May 23, 2014 at 10:07 am

      LOL more like the precocious child than MI5/6/7.



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