I sometimes wonder whether I ever would actually snap, as the latest trivial groan wings towards me, and spurt forth the diatribe of profane sarcasm that my brain is screaming at me as I retain my poise and business manner.
Sunday was an ‘almost did’.
Some people round here drive me to tearful aggravated tantrum despair and are the reason I am quitting being the dogsbody. It was late evening, around 8pm and I heard wheelie bins being moved. My first thought was that someone was being rather over eager as not only is our collection day Tuesday, it would be a day later this week because of the bank holiday. I glanced and noticed a bod wheeling one back and wandering towards his flat. The second thought flashed across my mind with an accompanying sigh of inevitability.
The phone rang – even though it was a withheld number I knew exactly who it was and why they were calling.
The perpetual moaner of the downstairs flat wanted to moan [in a fashion that clearly says, do something about this, now]. The persons of the upstairs flat was placing their bin outside the window to climb on top of. Reason being, upstairs bod had accidentally locked themselves out of flat but the windows were open and they were trying to figure out how to climb in them.
Did downstair moan offer a light hearted ‘Oh dear!’ at their plight [No], did they offer to call the landlord for the spare key [No], did they stop to ponder who might have a ladder [No]. They launched into a tirade of how disrespectful and rude upstairs fellows were, how the upstairs fellows had disturbed the peace, were making noise ‘all the time’ [gross exaggeration]. How downstair moaner was constantly living on nervous edge of upstairs coming home making noise.
I held my last nerve and said “There is nothing I can say and nothing I can do” but it was obvious downstairs moan wanted to moan and gossip and fish for information; she got short shrift. What I really wanted to say to downstair moaner is not something I would even type here, not because of the blueness of phrase but because in the cold calm of Thursday it would seem excessive.
I imagine I am now on her naughty and rude list – such pleasant company on it.