03 Mar


I have reached a point of abject apathy.  Phrases such as charity-fatigue, political-fatigue, reality tv-fatigue and so forth are often banded about by psychologists and the media, well I think I have reached life-fatigue.  Surely it cannot be the constant grey skies sapping any natural day light there is, nor the fact that the temperature has barely managed double figures [Celsius scale] that has put me in this low apathetic mood.

There is a saying that misery loves company, well I cannot be miserable because I do not feel the need for company nor for imparting my general malaise upon anyone and everyone crossing my path.

Could it be that my nearest and dearest each slowly drowning in their own individual mire of despondency has worn me down to the point where I do not have the slightest yearning or effort to offer sympathy, opinion, advice or even empathy.  I do not even have the drive to impart my catalogue of irritation.

It’s has taken me nearly two hours of enforced effort to even type these 1000+ characters of nothing.


Tomorrow is another day [of the same?]



Posted by on March 3, 2011 in Uncategorized


Tags: , ,

4 responses to “Apathy

  1. sarah-will-be-40

    March 3, 2011 at 10:22 pm

    There’s nothing wrong in taking time for yourself rather than be there for others. I might sound a bit selfish saying that but it’s easy to get brought down by other people’s moods. Of course, there are people going through a genuinely tough time and I would always be there for my friends but there are others who are always ‘half-empty’. My mum once told me that there are two types of people: energisers and drainers. Perhaps when you’re ready, spend time with the people who will energise you…

    And keep blogging!! If you don’t feel you want to impart your mood on others, blog! I think it’s so therapeutic, especially for the days when we feel we just want to be alone in this world yet need to reach out to someone remotely.

    Hoping that tomorrow will bring happiness….
    Sarah x


    • amgroves

      March 4, 2011 at 12:26 am

      Thanks Sarah … I will keep blogging when the effort can be sustained and I have something worthy of mention. If I blogged about everything that irritates me, drains me, depresses me I would blow up the web not to mention get serious RSI lol!

      This year has started out crap – as the saying goes, I am always in the shit, it is just the depth that varies.


  2. grillocks

    March 4, 2011 at 1:01 am

    Tomorrow – and I will accept NO excuses for not trying this, try doing just one small thing that puts right just one of the nagging aspects of your life. Pick something easy, something that needs doing and just get on with it. Once you’ve done it then you will feel imperceptably better because you have just ONE thing less bothering you. You can then go on to do something really silly that you know that you are BOUND to enjoy. I have been known to have a knickerbocker glory for breakfast in the middle of winter and this just HAS to qualify as RAVING MAD!!

    You can repeat this process on a daily basis and you will find that your depression will fade a little each time. In the meantime, I will hold you in my thoughts.


    • amgroves

      March 4, 2011 at 12:19 pm

      Thanks Grillocks — I know this is a majority of my own doing with the assistance of a generally pessimistic and depressive personality traits, coupled with some rather trying physical circumstances. So many of the things I do, I do just to fill up hours, so many of the things I want/need/should do come with a painful physical [not financial] cost.

      A great chunk of my difficulty is that the effort poured out to achieve the goal for some fleeting moments of 🙂 is so vast that the moment of 🙂 is swamped by ache, pain and frustration.

      I was laying in bed last night recounting various methods of boot-strap-pulling/butt-kicking and will likely blog later today or tonight. Although this comment has turned into a mini-blog – must be the coffee typing 😆



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