Past tense life

05 Feb


“I used to …” I find myself using this phrase more and more and now I have something else to add to the ever growing list of things “I used to …”   Thanks to my muscular deterioration and degeneration of my eye sight, I have had to stop driving and yesterday morning my little car was driven away from me for a new life somewhere else .

I feel I am living in the past tense, “I used to …..” work full-time, for Government Agencies, at a Baron’s Estate, run businesses.  “I used to …” walk, skip, run, dance, climb stairs up and down, manage kerbs and door steps.  “I used to …” go grocery shopping, clothes shopping, shoe shopping with ease all by myself.  “I used to …” take myself off on a coaching holiday, go tall ship sailing.  “I used to ..” play the piano, quite well as it goes, “I used to …” sit for examinations, enter competitions and perform at recitals.

I used to

I used to

I used to

And now I add “I used to …” drive to airports to take/pick up family travellers, “I used to …” drive to visit my closest sole buddy.  “I used to …” drive my bud and I off to gigs in the Uk, or to airports as we jetted to a new adventure or take people to where they needed to go, to do what needed to be done.

I used to have independence skills, energy, purpose, focus and drive.  None of these things have gone by conscious choice or pride, not because of imposed saction or nervousness through fear but by a disease I didn’t ask for, that nothing can be done about, and it will never be any different.  It will continue to rob me of myself.

I used to have reasons to leave my house.


Posted by on February 5, 2011 in Uncategorized


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4 responses to “Past tense life

  1. Vince Lombardi

    February 15, 2011 at 12:28 am

    What is a coaching holiday?


    • amgroves

      February 15, 2011 at 10:32 pm

      A coaching holiday is like an organised trip by coach to various places. Sort of like a cruise but on a coach, overnighting at the same or different hotels, days spent sighting seeing in towns or visiting places of interest.


  2. Martha Graham

    February 17, 2011 at 3:58 pm

    Now you need to find the Reasons, the Purpose and the Joy within your house. Bring the world into your home.
    “When the music changes, so does the dance”. You may be dancing slower but the rhythm is still there…….


    • amgroves

      February 17, 2011 at 4:31 pm

      Been tackling that one for the past few years, I think it is drowning under all those rather menacing looking dust bunnies, over there is the furthest corner, under the big book case …..



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