Tis never that easy!

20 Dec



Things are rarely straightforward for me and my family.  We set out with the best of intentions, with the most thought out of plans but then fate decides, nope that ain’t gonna be so ….. ….. ….. thus it was last night!

A couple of months ago my Sister came up with the idea that we all go to see the Christmas Spectaular at the Circus, a wonderful idea and somewhere that despite the building being oodles old is very wheelchair accommodating.  The five tickets were booked [Sister, Bro in law, Nephew, Neice in law and myself] we eagerly awaited the day to arrive.

My Christmas festives had already taken a knock as my best mate was unable to come and stay for a long weekend due to weather and delays with getting property issues sorted and done.  The Circus visit was going to be my only ‘out-the-house’ festivity other than the grand day itself.

As like everywhere else, it snowed last week and we had a blanket covering of around four inches, not an intense amount but enough to turn the christmas card look into a minefield of hidden kerbs, steps and slopes.  It has not gone, it has thawed a fraction but hastily settled to compated ice as the temperatures have struggled to get anywhere near the plus side of freezing [currently -8ºC/18ºF].  Eventhough my ever so helpful neighbour spent an afternoon brushing, scraping and shoveling the pathway clear the remainder of the road, pavements and driveways are an ice rink.

The day arrived, I was bundled up in layers [socks, 2 pairs of trousers, longsleeved roll necked top with thick jumper, coat, scarf, gloves], the car pulled up and I was wheeled out … problem one find somewhere with an ounce of grip so I could just stand.  Picture the scene if you will … wheelchair at side of car, car pulls away to somewhere else, wheelchair wheeled back to side of car, car moves to another spot wheelchair rolled slipped to beside car again.  A tiny patch of untouched icy snow was found, brace yourself folks.  The plan was to lift me to a stand, turn 90 º plant arse on car seat – sounds fool proof right??

I was lifted to a stand, one hand grasping top of car door, one hand grasping my Sister’s coat shoulder. I was standing.  Slowly like Anne Widdecombe on ice I turned. I was still standing.  I engineered myself a spot closer to the car, all eyes inside the car navigating my arse to the optimum spot.  Ready .. 3 .. 2 .. 1 .. right the arse is coming down …. it caught the edge of the car seat, slipped to the door sill and rested upon the cold wet mound of slushy.

I see that stiffled snicker ……. don’t deny it ……… what else could we do

After all hands grappled me back into my chair we had a second go but front seat of the car and nephew hoisting me and plonking me on the car seat – yes – just need to pull down the sports bra that was kissing my nipples, the sweater, the jumper, the coat.

Tally-ho!!!  Off we go ………………………………………………………………………..

As we drove past the Circus in search of a parking space, we saw quite a congregation of people waiting in the freezing temps.  Oww a popular show.  We all get out the car, I am plopped into my wheelchair also acting as carrier for handbags and knee rugs [we go prepared, we nearly took sandwiches] we slowly trundle to the waiting masses, the sea was blowng an icy breeze, all rather ‘fresh’ as they say.  There were whispers and rumblings amongst the crowd and someone mentioned the heart sinking nine letter word … cancelled … What?  Why??  Err???  Hmm????

A rather comanding voice bellowed that the show was indeed cancelled due to a backstage electrical fault. People were given the option to try and rebook now or call the ticket office later to rebook or refund.  As our various schedules meant that really a Sunday show was our only option and we needed a wheelchair space it was mutually agreed that my Sister and Brother in law would wait to rebook and the rest of us would go back to the car, wait and get warm for their return – so we did.

Yes, it was disappointing but it was a situation that could not be helped.  We got comfy in the car and Nephew’s mobile went.  5 minutes? okay, yeah, yeah, right, bye.  It appeared that the fault had been rectified, and “the show will go on” maybe in 5 minutes – more waiting, laughing as yet again my poor nephew would have to lump my cumbersome chair out the car, hoist me back in and walk the slushy slippy roads back to the Circus.  Phone goes again “Right, Bye” .  The show is officially a go

Off we bundle – the show started about 20 minutes late.  It was a very good show, the local gymnasts were very flexible, and very skilled walking on those inflatted balls, the juggler juggled he was having a bit of a problem with his hands and dropped a club and a ring during the more fast paced hectic pieces.  It was rather cold.  Stuart is very funny as the hapless comic to Jack’s [compare] straightness.  By far the biggest jaw wow factor were the Bulgarian Bike Riders in the Globe of Death, it was tiny in there for one, let alone three!!!

The splash about as the water was made ready for the synchronised swimmers was funny, especially as the ‘crew’ took part in the antics.  The trapeze artist from France looked rather precarious.  How the scantily clad dancers weren’t covered in goose bumps or shivvering I do not know.  All together a very entertaining show.

I got home without further incident, having had a fun night indeed.  No bruises or strains – the flying arse lives to fly again!!!


Posted by on December 20, 2010 in Uncategorized


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2 responses to “Tis never that easy!

  1. Dolly

    December 28, 2010 at 3:51 pm

    Oh to be that lucky, lucky sports bra!



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